Dude, Cancer sucks. I will prove it to you.

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Reminiscing

Thursday marks 5 years since the first chemo treatment for Cole.  Not surprisingly, this week I have been thinking a lot about when Cole was first diagnosed.  It's kind of funny the things that I remember so clearly after all this time an after all these treatments and after all of everything.  
I remember the first room at Kaiser (room 4), and how it and a little antechamber connected to it.  
I remember the magic hidden toilet in the PICU.  
I remember Nurse Level 2.  
I remember Elisa and Julia forcing me to leave the hospital to go take a nap at the hotel.  
I remember standing outside Room 4 and watching my sister walk down the hallway, thinking at the time that it seemed such a far walk.  
I remember the anticlimactic conversation with Cole wherein I told him that he had Cancer.  
I remember (and this is a strange one) sitting in that little room listening to Dr. Taggart tell me the diagnosis and wondering if, due to her ears, she was a half-elf.  
I remember giving Cole a bath and thinking that he looked like he had been in a concentration camp.
I remember a thousand million other small shitty details that I wish I could unremember.
I remember fentretonide.
I remember the irony of oral zofran.
I remember mint ice cream.
I remember visits to the ER.
I remember him falling at the park prior to diagnosis.
I remember yelling at him to walk right, not knowing the bone marrow in his hips was essentially melting.
I remember finding a time machine being carelessly left unattended.
I remember taking the time machine to the future and finding out that they had cured cancer.
I remember taking that knowledge back to February 2011 and nipping this shit in the bud.