Dude, Cancer sucks. I will prove it to you.

Monday, January 27, 2014

So It Begins, Redux

…and then the evil genius somehow convinced the villagers that his perfectly innocent younger brother, was not in fact the handsome rugged lover that he seemed be.  But rather was stinky Uncle Jim….

Oh sorry, I was just telling the boys their favorite nighttime story.  Here we go.

I spent 223423ou4398897f89u98f23j9vwe823 hours at UCSF today, and during all that time (between trying to explain to Cole why Indiana Jones had a different girl in each of the movies and Cole trying to explain to me Skylander) I made a couple of decisions.

First is that I am starting a company.  I will be the CDO (Chief Dream Officer) and CWIBCIO (Chief Wouldn't It Be Cool If Officer).  I still need to fill out the executive staff.  Please see the following openings and let me know if you are interested.

CGWGTDO (Chief Guy Who Gets Things Done Officer)
CGWAKHTDTO (Chief Guy Who Actually Knows How To Do Things Officer)

We also will be needing cheap labor (Cheap labor is the grown up word for free), so if that is your cup of wax, holla.

Did you see how I gave you a teaser about Cole in an earlier paragraph, but am delaying the update so that you are forced to sit in my boat of crazy and float up the river of Jim?  Did you see, huh, did you see?

Watching a commercial about the freedom cane at hurricane.com.  Seriously.  Not too drunk, and not watching Fox News.  You get a free wrist strap, free travel case, and it somehow fights communism, I think.

Fine, I will tell you about Cole.  We started LEE011 (that is its NSA designation, I am not at liberty to even tell you that its real name is little green pill, and in fact can’t even tell you that the NSA is involved in this at all.  Fortunately the government can’t eavesdrop on this conversation because it is protected by parentheses) today, and it was wildly underwhelming.  The only interesting event was that we were supposed to take the medicine at 9:00, and then stay for 8 hours to do lab draws and ECGs (come to find out EKG is a European term.  The proper Merican way to say it is ECG.  After having my patriotic strings tugged by the freedom cane, I feel that it is only right for me to say ECG).  Now for those of you who don’t know, 9:00 is the hospital word for 11:45 (it is also the attorney word), but it is not mine.  So we rolled in at 8:45, and did not get out of there until 7:15 this evening.  I am not sure if I am more pissed about missing dinner, missing playing with Oliver and Logan, or missed the chance to see Patrick Rothfuss, who was in SF today.

That aside, Cole and I had a good time.  We found, lost, pursued, and ultimately obtained the Arc of the Covenant.  We returned the sacred stones to the village, and freed the slave children with the help of (Cole’s word) Roundhouse.  We were on our way to saving the Holy Grail from the Nazis, but my eyeballs fell out so we played a little Munchkin.  All in all it was a fun time for us.  We still have a few more of these all day sessions, and next time I think that we will spend the entire 8 (hospital word for 32) hours learning how to make those around you feel like they are going crazy (you know….looking at a spot in the ceiling with a quizzical look on your face, every time the person starts talking you look behind you, or you dress in drag and ask the person if this dress goes with corn on the cob).

Sound like fun, huh?  Me too.  I am looking forward to it too.  For now; however, please raise your glasses and toast Cole, Historian who was never accused of plagiarism.    

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