Dude, Cancer sucks. I will prove it to you.

Saturday, November 17, 2012


There are two things that I wonder about (cuz I done already figured the rest out).  First is who is that guy Wes?  I mean seriously.

The second is ?  These are things that make me say hmmm (if this were a video blog you would see me with ridiculously long prosthetic fingers)

So………………Ollie is fat and phat.  He is officially mobile, agile, and versatile.  His favorite game is the classic crawl for the most disgusting and/or dangerous thing in the house and try to get to it before mom and/or dad and/or the dog and/or our stoner neighbor (wait he might be the disgusting and/or dangerous thing……wait why is he in my house……) and/or the and/or guy and/or gets to him as he cackles.  Great fun.  Still waiting on tooth number one.  Still waiting on him being able to sleep through the night (although in all (or at least “all” as I see it) honesty I still am waiting on being able to sleep through the night myself). 

Logan was going to have surgery (we earned some frequent medical miles through Kaiser so we decided to have some work done on) on Monday but the surgeon had to reschedule him so we will not have a cranky (well at least not crankier than normal) 4 year old on Thanksgiving.  He goes in in January which is good.

Cole continues to row his boat down the turbulent waters that is the chronic (disease not the other one).  Some days up, and some down.  More up than down though.  We have switched one of the antibiotics for another.  The one that we discontinued had some potentially nasty side effects.  This new med does not have the side effects but it is especially cruel in another way.  Let me splain.  My kids and my wife do not actually have blood.  No, their veins contain 2% cow’s milk.  They drink it with every meal, they bathe in it, they sleep in milk beds, and I even saw them chanting to a glass of it once.  This new med of Cole’s does not absorb into the body if there is dairy in his sytem.  If he drinks milk, then he has to wait 6 hours before he can take the medicine.  Once he takes the medicine, he has to wait 2 hours before he can ingest his holy fluid.  Now he has to take this med twice per day, and it is an oral med so he has to be awake.  All you math majors (drum majors, army majors, and major pains in the ass can also play) try and figure out how to give him his meds and still let him drink milk at all 3 meals. …(While we are waiting for them to crunch the numbers, answer me this: How does Alabama score 48 points when their QB throws for less than 200yds and their RB runs for less than 100?)… now try and do it with two meals, and remember that he sleeps from 8pm-6am.

On another front I am transitioning away from being a legal secretary and I am becoming a paralegal.  There are many good things to this switch.  First is that my knees were killing me.  B is that I will be a work from home contractor so I don’t have to wear pants any more.  And 3 is that paralegal is close to paramilitary which basically means that I am a badass.

Dear new Red Dawn creator, when someone makes something that sucks so awesome please leave it alone.  I have not seen your new movie but based solely on the trailers, your movie will suck in a very mundane way.  Come on now movie person(s) you are better than that.  Don't allow yourself to suck in a mediocre and non-unique fashion.  If you are going to suck, suck hard; suck well: and most of all suck uniquely.  

I guess that is all for now.  I will see you when I see you, and until that day please raise your glass and toast Oliver, Cole, and Logan your news channel 4 team.

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