So if you are reading this then you know, and if you know then your knowing does not need further application of knowing by me; however as the purpose of this is to allow me to ensure that my knowing is known by all the knowers, prepare for some know, now.
Scans = more spots. More spots = hospital treatments (and a sharp increase in the consumption of scotch). hospital treatments = missed work and shitty life. missed work and shitty life brings us to the point of our meeting today.....by calling it a meeting, it implies that you have entered my brain and are looking around. For those of you that are in here with me please note the following: 1. That picture on the wall never happened (i.e. an indictment is not a conviction) 2. I hope that you are wearing non-slip shoes. 3. The fuzziness is a result of the scotch. 4. Don't open the door in the back. You aren't ready for that kind of crazy. I have totally lost what I was talking about. Wait. Wait. Wait. Oh yeah, now I remember.
So we are back in treatment and we (saying "we" is kind of presumptuous (prəˈzəm(p)(t)SH(o͞o)əs/) of me and a little more ego-centric than I usually am.) had our first session.....the we is dumb. Cole had the treatment. All I did was sit there and play GTA5. More on that later. It has been a while (a while is the grown up word for some number of years that is greater than 1 but less than 1,0wer09w8er0we98r0ew9) since Cole had any kind of serious treatment that really affected him negatively. This treatment (for those of you keeping score and for those of you who are actually interested in the truth (crazy bastards), the treatment includes the immunotherapy with a chemo kicker) causes Cole to feel strange and significant pain while he is in. The pain is strange because it is in the joints of his legs and feet. He says it feels like the pain your legs feel when you are sitting for a long time, but then intensified a great deal. In addition to the fun pain, he gets the normal chemo nausea. Fortunately the nausea is way less than the previous chemos that he done did.
Regardless, I have decided that it is no fun. The only goood thing is that it is not on study which means that we do not have to jump through all the hoops (specific dates of treatment, underwear that must be worn, etc.). Other than that, it pretty much sucks.
Ok, so all the crappy health stuff is done. Now I would like to try and be sincere for a moment. (no promises as I have already entered crazy town and am 3/9 of the way through the double scotch that magically appeared when I poured it into a glass). On a sort of whim, I set up a gofundme campaign. I was doing the middle class math (middle class math is the grown up word for how in the hell am I going to make ends meet) game and with me missing 1 week of work per month, and with all the weird costs than pop up when you are doing multi-day hospital stays, I knew that this would be a rough summer. Of course those closest to us asked how they could help. So I did the gofundme. It felt weird. I felt like I was going out to sit on an internet street corner with a sign that says "will work for food", but I set it up anyway.
Now it may seem strange to you, but I don't really see myself as having a lot of friends. I have family. I have people that I know. But I don't really have friends (in case you are feeling sorry for me, it does not bother me. I am very much an introvert and enjoy taking strolls in my own thoughts). So it amazed, shocked, humbled, and moved me beyond words when the response to my gofund me was so amazing. I keep trying to describe how I feel. I keep trying to find the words to express my overpowering gratitude, but I can't seem to find the words. I can't even find the made up words that always seem to come so easily to me. All I know is that the people have spoken, and they have said loudly and clearly, "Cole. We love you and we are here for you...all of us" It does not seem to be enough but all I can think to say is, Thank You. Thank You to all who donated. Thank You to all who have prayed. Than You to all who have offered help. Thank You to all who have given support. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.