Dude, Cancer sucks. I will prove it to you.

Sunday, October 4, 2020

URGH

 It has been over three years since I last wrote in this thing.  So much has happened that I don't know if I have enough scotch to work through all of it.  Since we last spoke, Cole did a shit load of shitty treatments, and some cool experiences in NY, and tried to restart his life.  


For the record, I had a cool thought that was introspective and smart sounding and all that but I have completely forgotten it like I have decided to forget grammar this is a choose your own adventure scenario where you can capitalize as you see fit and put in whatever punctuation in whatever spot you want ok this is annoying to write so i can only imagine how annoying it is to read although i have not intention of publishing this so I am really just writing to keep from getting my frustration out by kicking my beagle (before calling authorities i dont have a beagle, but my chief did and he apparently kicked it often)


My current thought that has to hurry up and get down onto paper before it stops existing is more of a question than a thought.  If you have a friend who has an issue like you have, does the friend's issue magnify and cause your issue to increase or does your issue decrease because you have a friend whose issue allows them to empathize with you?


Warning Pity Party about to kick off: Every day I feel like I am failing as a father.  Now to begin with I am not that 50s mysognoistic (I can't figure out how to spell check on this computer and am rapidly getting too drunk to care) guy who thinks he is head of the house, runs everything, and all that stupid shit.  However, I do believe that it is my job (not necessarily because I am a father but more because I have no limit on the shit I would to do to accomplish this task) to protect my family.  So the question must be begged. Why can't I protect him?  Why can't I keep him safe?  FUCK THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sorry for that.  Fuck it, I am done for tonight.  Maybe tomorrow I can figure it out.

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