Dude, Cancer sucks. I will prove it to you.

Thursday, March 15, 2012


I am sooooooooooo tired.  Last night Oliver thought it would be funny to lull me into a false sense of security by easily burping and then falling right to sleep after each of the evening feedings.  Of course it was just part of his diabolical plan because he then chose the 2am feeding to not burp, and to freak out whenever I put him into his bed.  That meant that, due to certain laws prohibiting the dangling of infants by their very small (and admittedly extraordinarily cute) toes, I found myself sitting on the couch holding a baby and watching Criminal Minds and Law & Order (two shows which will seriously mess with your mind at that time of night.  I feel like there are serial killers everywhere around me now.  I keep looking for a bulge (gun…..dirty mind) in my co-workers’ clothes so that I can find out who the killer is.  (Once I do find them I will, naturally, disarm them with my wit and a well placed cup of coffee in the face.  I have it all planned out.  The hard part will be to make sure that I have hot coffee within reach at all times today.)) while that silly little boy slept comfortably in my arms.  Try and put him back in his crib you say?  Nooooooo, we were not having that.  Fun times.

On other child fronts, Logan appears to be going through a growth spurt while at the same time transforming his bone structure to that of a Baker from the Arizona Clan (of which the California Clan is an evolutionarily advanced offshoot).  For those of you who have never seen a Baker attempt to jump (a truly comic sight) or had one sit on you, let me explain.  Something happens to the bones of a Baker whereby the makeup of the bone becomes more like lead than bone.  This causes a 123234532% weight increase without any visible indication of said increase.  You wouldn’t know it to look at me, but I weigh 432 lbs.  I know, right?  I hide it well.

Cole is rockin’ the first grade at Allen Elementary.  He has made inroads into the elite social circles, and has even been invited to his first birthday gala which is being held for one of the debutante’s birthday.  Not to be outdone, we are currently planning our own soiree and Cole is rapidly approaching his 1/10th of the way to 70 birthday.  He is all done, hopefully forever, with his in hospital treatments.  We are currently finishing up his last round of at home medication cycles.  We will be taking various pictures of his insides in the middle of April.  The result of those pictures will determine what future treatments, if any, will be needed.  Best case scenario is that no treatments will be needed, and that his broviac line (the tube sticking out of his chest) can be removed. 

Elisa is on vacation eating bon bons and sipping margaritas.  Or, another way to put it is that she is home with the baby keeping him alive, happy, clean, and trying to clean up a house that her multiple male dude type peoples spend their entire waking moments destroying.  Sometimes I am not sure why she tolerates us.  We smell.  We are loud.  We are messy.  I think that if there was no such thing as a top shelf, I would be out of a job.  Hopefully that will not come to pass, but I will let you know if it does.  For now, however, please raise your glasses and toast the California Bakers, stars of the new show in NBC, “Elisa And Her Messy Dude Type People”  

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