Let me tell you about something that I hate (besides Cancer). I hate awards shows. I truly do.
Let me tell you about something that I love (besides my family). I love sports highlights. I truly do.
So that is how I found myself watching the ESPY’S this evening. I turned the channel and saw VCU win their award (gotta love scrappers), so I kept the show on. The next award was the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage. It was given to a guy who spent over 30 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. He did all the stuff that you would expect of this type of award recipient (learned to box, obtained college degrees, finally was exonerated, etc.). The only reason that I bring this up is that he was not pissed about the fact that he lost 32 years.
One of the, among the many, shitty things about this whole cancer experience, and the one that I have been having the hardest time reconciling in my mind is the feeling that Cole, and my entire family (extended), has lost, so far, six months of his life. There were so many things that he did not get to do. Playing with friends, going to school, you know all that stuff. Every time I think about it, it makes me mad.
So when Dewy (the prison guy, great name huh) did not seem pissed about the loss of time, and in fact simply said that each day he woke up in the joint he just worked to make himself happy. Thanks Dewy.
Now on to other stuff. First the everworking Neighbor Joe has arranged for a new fundraiser event later this month. He has convinced the owner of the self service car wash near our house to donate all his earnings for one day to Cole. In addition, Emily (Joe’s wife) convinced Costco to donate some food. More details will follow, but basically we are going to ask people to come wash their cars for Cole. We will also be cooking some food to sell as well. Should be a good time. Tell your friends. Right now we are looking at July 23rd, but I don’t know if that date is certain.
Cole is maintaining his stoic badassness as his body recovers from the crazy chemo that he was given. He has had some ups and downs, but seems to be improving ever so slightly each day. I say that of course just based on conversations and reading the daily shift log because I only get to see Cole on the weekends. I know that it is a blessing having Chris’ family out here to take the burden off of me, but I sometimes feel guilty for not carrying the burden. I think I just miss my son.
On a separate not, why do I watch Criminal minds? I know it is going to jack my brain up, and cause me to lose sleep. It is not the dead bodies that messes with me. It is the destruction of the families that comes from the loss of a loved one. I know that, and yet when it is on, I can’t turn it off. Oh well.
I am going to bed now, and hopefully will get some sleep. In the meantime, please raise your glasses and toast Cole, playwright.