Dude, Cancer sucks. I will prove it to you.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


I have been finding it harder and harder to write as each day passes.  I am not sure if I am starting to wear out or if I am just settling into my new life that includes a kid with cancer, but irregardlessly, it is harder.  It is not harder to actually write.  It is harder to make myself sit down, open the computer, and get started.

I also have been noticing that my brain is intermittently sluggish.  You know when you are trying to watch a video on the internet (hey, enough of that.  This is a family blog…not those kinds of videos), but you have a slow connection.  The video will play just fine and then freeze for a while, and then play just fine again.  That is kind of how my brain, and my me-ness has been.  I will be going along just fine and then suddenly I freeze inside.  I appear to be moving along as regular, but it is just a ruse.  My body moves by rote, but my mind is frozen.  Then all of a sudden, I am moving and thinking as normal again.  It really sucks.

OK, boring emotional and crazy stuff is done.  Let’s move on to Cole and the rest of the team.  Cole is back in the hospital for Chemo.  Elisa has the first overnight and then duty tomorrow.  I hate when she is there because I cannot sleep when she is not in the bed.  I sleep better at the hospital on that god awful chair bed thing than I do in my nice comfortable bed without her. 

Cole should, hopefully, be back out on Saturday.  The doctors said that this round of Chemo will be less nauseating than the last round, but a little more than the first two rounds. 

Cole has been in really good spirits for the last couple of weeks.  He has been eating well, and has even been learning how to cook.  His weight is up, and he has almost breached the sought after weight of .025 tons.  He has developed a taste for milk with whipped cream to go along with the staples of Totinos pizza, pancakes, grilled cheese, and the fattiest salad dressing in the entire world.

I’m done for the night, but until next time please raise your glass and toast Cole, lyrical gangsta.

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