Dude, Cancer sucks. I will prove it to you.

Monday, June 6, 2011


So I have been a big bucket of nerves and have been suffering from white screenitis(MS Word spell check says this word is misspelled, but I ask you Mr. Computer how would you spell it?  No suggestions, then leave me alone), which is why I have not written since my last post right after Cole’s surgery.  Also I assumed that since it is NBA Finals time, everyone would be much more interested in that than what I have to say.  Apparently I was wrong.  Sorry Bron Bron.

So by way of summary, Cole had his surgery on the 24th of May in the year of our lord 2011.  They were able to get the main tumor and just had to leave a “film” (as Dr. Sullivan describes it) of cancer cells on some important structures (like the aorta).  She did tag these structures with tiny titanium tags so that the radiation techs will have some billboards to direct them to the cancer cells.  In order to defray the costs of all this high faluten’ medicinal hocus pocus, we did obtain some corporate sponsorship.  His titanium tags  have appropriate little advertisements extolling the virtues of products such as Coke, Nike, and Depends.

So the surgery was on a Tuesday, and immediately after the surgery Dr. Sullivan said that he will probably be in the hospital for a week.  We started off in the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit? Papays In California Usually? Protein Is Creepy and Useful?).  PICU is kind of cool because you have absolutely no privacy and no bathroom.  Well that is not entirely true.  There is a super secret unknown to the general public and only super secret spies like me know about bathroom (crap, I was not supposed to talk about the secret bathroom.  They are going to come after me now.  If anything happens to me please go find the safety deposit box.  It is the one in San Francisco.  The password is “Fluffy Bunny Feet.”  When you get there, open the contents and let the world know.  Don’t let this secret die with me…..please help us Obi Wan, you are our only hope).

So he was then transferred to the normal Pediatric Unit (or PU for short and because it houses a bunch of kids, most of whom are stinky because that is how kids are).  A week they told us.  Uh, I don’t think so.  Cole decided that on Saturday he had had enough, and snuck out of the hospital disguised as a kid who recovered amazing quickly from surgery.

So just to rub it in Dr. Sullivan’s face (a week, what a joke), Cole took an excursion to Malibu Grand Prix on Sunday (for those of you keeping scorecards at home, that is 5 days from the surgery).  He played mini golf, rode the bumper boats, and he and Logan skillfully turned my $5.00 at the ticket giving games into 2 yo-yos and 3 plastic rings.  We then decided to push our luck and go out to dinner that night.  We went to Bennihana’s.  Unfortunately Logan forgot to pack any pain medication for Cole, so he did not really get to enjoy it.  We will definitely have to go back in the not too distant future so that he can have more fun.

So after enjoying the long weekend, Cole and I (armed with a suitcase full of D&D stuff) went back to the hospital to check him in so that he could knock out his last round of Chemo.  Chemo started on Tuesday and he was discharged on Friday.  The doctors told us that the effects, especially the nausea, of Chemo are cumulative which means that after this round he was going to feel as crappy as all the previous rounds plus this one together.  Again Cole turned up his nose at the conventions of modern medicine, and instead decided to swing by San Jose on Friday and eat some homemade pizza and some cake.  He wrestled with his cousins and assaulted his grandpa.  The kid is a rock star.

So this week we have my parents visiting from tropical Arizona, which as we speak is burning again (Arizona catching on fire is a more accurate indicator of summer being here than any calendar or weatherman could ever be).  Papa Baker has been tasked with building a living wall, a built-in book case, and a treehouse/fort.  Cole is the assistant.

So we got our dates set for the big Disney World trip (thanks to Make-A-Wish).  We are going to be going out the week of Thanksgiving (actually flying out on Thanksgiving….the plane better have a good turkey dinner for us).  We will most likely be staying at a place called Give Kids the World.  The place looks insanely awesome when viewed through the eyes of a kid.  If you get a chance, check out their website. 

So in the meantime please raise your glasses and toast Cole, playground equipment engineer. 

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